Monday, April 2, 2012


I am about to be sexist and out of line but.....

I swear I just met the architypal male specimen.  The body type upon whom all male fantasy characters are based.

The boy had to be at least 6'2" and 300lbs of pure brawn from the tips of his toes allllll the way to the end of his folicles.  No I'm not talking skinny legs and overworked upperbody.  This is not a gym body this is 100% Heaven Blessed Goodness.  I'm talking about shoulders and thighs the size of logs.  

Didn't know Armani made suits that size.  Imagine measuring the inner thigh for that.... Phwoar!!!!  He even made a heavy Lothian accent sound sexy!  Never gave much thought to Kilts, but now....

Green eyes, brains weren't too shabby either (Senior Legal Partner).  Had he been seen in Smith Square (he would have clearly been lost) but the TPED girls would have taken him down like cheetahs taking out a gazelle.

Whether or not I dropped the pen intentionally is immaterial, needless to say the view was not disappointing.  

As a potential Client I did for a second wonder what he'd be willing to do for our account.  The devil in me told him he needs to return next week and do a presentation.  This is of course pointless but by next week I can prep the girls and ensure he's in a glass meeting room where he can be properly displayed.  Afterall this quality a specimen doesn’t come along too often. So this goodness must be shared.

As he walked past the receptionist I physically had to reach out and close her mouth. Can't blame her though, around here we're more accoustomed to Elmer Fudd than Prince Charming.

Male moment over.
Back to work!  Sigh!

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Remembering fast words, dead dreams and slow crossings.
Regrets of signing, of boarding, of dreaming
Dreaming of a better life.

Life is British Guiana!  Great weather!  Fantastic conditions! Short working days!
Long nights to laze! 
Indenture-ship to heaven!  Nirvana!
Sign here and step aboard!

Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Looking into the morning light.  Remembering Hesperus. 
Awful ship, awful food, awful indignities, awful indicator of cruelties.
One hundred and fifty men, five women, ten children.

One hundred and seventy dreamers.
Dreamers of fair wages, moderate homes, decent schools.
Set sail for a dream.  And arrived as Property. 
The Property of Gladstone!

Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Flogged for wanting the promised dream,
Flogged for running away,
Away from home.  Vreed-en-Hoop.

Home of long days, short nights, incessant rain.
Disease and pain.
The whip, the cane, the cat.
Home to the unwitting, unwilling Coolies.
Home to robbers of wages, dreams, dignities.  Humanities.

Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Beneath the Manager’s house, amidst the dearth of hope and dreams.
Hungry, tired and bedraggled.
Covered in mud, sweat and filth.

Arms outstretched. Tethered with ropes of hemp defiled.
Breast to the post.  Back bared.
Heavy head, lifeless limb, ragged breath.
Happy eyes.

Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Flogged as though hell itself had risen up,
As though the end of time was neigh,
Flogged with the fury and avarice of a Master scorned.

Flogged to evoke regret, pain, fears.  Tears.
Tears for what was never to be,
Tears for the love that was never known,
The children that were never borne.

Slumped against a pillar.  Waiting to be flogged.
Waiting to draw the last breath.  A happy breath.
The breath that would take her sweet beautiful child
From this place of misery, shattered dreams and broken promises

The breath that would fulfil a soul’s longing,
Longing for the release from the bondage of this place of misery, broken bones, and desecrated dreams.
The breath that would deliver her child finally
Into the arms of Nirvana.

Saturday, November 19, 2011


Yes, yes old chap pleeeeased to meeeeet you.  Your accent….  Yooooou’re from heeeere, are yooooou?

Yoooou speeeeak raaaatheeeer gooooood English.  The schoooools here are ooook, are theeeey?

Me? I weeent to Maaaanchester Poly.

Do yooooou know whaaaat thaaat is?  Aaaare theeeere Universities heeeere?

Local as well as American and British.  OK.  OK.  Did yoooou goooo to one of thooose?

University of Oxford then Harvard Business School for your MBA.  OK.  OK.

Thooose are the naaaames of the schoooools heeeere are theeeey?

Oh the ooones in Englaaaand aaand Ameeeericaaaa you say. 

Oh. OHHH……

Rene X

Thursday, November 17, 2011



Welcome to my Blog.

The Blog takes the format of poems and short stories, hopefully it will make you weep and laugh with equal joy. Some poems are observatory, some are participatory whilst others are historical and political reflections.

Whatever your tastes I hope that you are able to dip into this blog and find something that satisfies your literary tastes.

Once again welcome and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

Rene X

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Excuse me but this company has ceased trading.
Could you kindly ask the Client to provide new Trading details.

It’s fine.
No it’s not. This Company does not exist.

B says it’s fine.
It’s not. This Company does not exist.

That’s ok, you can sign it.
No. This Company does not exist.

It’s ok. We know them.
This Company does not exist.

We’ve done work for them before.
Company does not exist.

18 months ago.
Does not exist!

Not as yet we’re still waiting on the payment.
Not exist!

Yes, but it’s hard to get hold of their Accounts Department

I know it’s your neck that’s on the line. But it’s ok.
Lord, let me ceased to exist.

Rene X

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Ladies in black ensembles from days of old,
Faces covered young and old,
Perfumed with Oud, Sandalwood and Musk,
Gather to exact their revenge at dusk.

Floating, flaunting, preening, attracting souls
Who know not the perils to which they capitulate
As though transported from Serium Scopuli to the houses of the Greats
Beside Gucci, Armani, Cavalli. They wait.

Daughters of Achelous & Phorcys
Floating on the soles of Louboutin, Manolo and Choo
With destinies determined, they decide to choose. But who?

An unknown he ambles the marbled halls, hands in pockets.
Passing glances into shinny panes, he does not see.
For winged maidens fill his sight.
Lured and seduced by their perfumed bodies and their dulcet accented tones,
His treacherous feet lead him

The fallen approaches
Watched. But unaware.
He advances. Makes contact. Smiles. Laughs. Touches.
The final touch.
For in the flicker of an eye he is doomed.
Dreams, aspirations, realities, his being, destroyed.

Mutawwa’in! Mutawwa’in! The Committee! They hurriedly whisper.
He protests.
Too late.
“Promotion of virtue and prevention of vice” is the last thing he hears.
He whimpers.
The darkness descends.
His story ends.

Rene X

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Here am I, new country, new school,
Eyeing everything and not trying to look the fool.
Rass, backside, chicken foot, whuh, nawh,
Stupsin’ teeth, yatin’ boots, eih bwoy. Oh Boy!

Pardon me, if you please, would you mind awfully.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Girl is whah yuh wan?
Confused! Confused! Didn’t understand her. Smile. Look friendly. Swallow the fear.
Why am I here?

Oh yes. Focus, focus.
Party tonight! Party tonight?
Bottom House Party Tonight!
Mad max, dub music, malta, shandy, banks beer,
Women in curlers, girls in short skirts, men in string vests, boys in sweat shorts
Oh why am I here?

Home time! Dirk bikes, big bens, mountain bikes. Tow bars!
Dogs barking! Chasing! Ride! Ride! Ride!
Home finally, open gate quietly, a whispered “ah like yuh”, “I like you too”,
Quick peck, heart racing, eyes dancing, head swooning
Off to bed, quiet smile there.
Ohh, I really don’t mind being here.

Rene X